i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
