I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize