so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
