Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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