You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
