Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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