Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
