There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
