I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
