Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
