my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
