Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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