drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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