Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
