grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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