I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
