spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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