I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
