No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
