When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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