So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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