You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
