im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
