Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize