Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize