I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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