When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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