You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
