Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
