Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
