I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
