Porn is love you can see.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
