His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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