covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
