Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
