Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
420 ftw
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
