i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
