no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
