You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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