I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
