We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
