Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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