I CAN MOONWALK!
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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