the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
