Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
