You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize