I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just high enough for therapy.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
