I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
