Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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