butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
