Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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