so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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