My friends, they love my intelligence
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
i need some magic done to my vagina
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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