If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
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