I hate all girls vehemently.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
