Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Where is the hickey?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize