3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
