things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
