oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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