I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
