Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
