quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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