I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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