did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
