I could have mohawked her pubes.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
