Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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