she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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