So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
